Does anyone else just want to stay in bed for a weekend? A week? A small, undefined era?
Sometimes it just feels good to be alone in my space with all my favorite things, enjoying my own company. In my terrarium. As I call it. Because what I am, fundamentally, is a small contented creature in a controlled environment. The temperature is perfect. The snacks are within reach. The drinks are cold. The furniture is comfy. Everything is clean. The entertainment is curated. Conditions are optimal.
Comfy, safe, little Racheal terrarium.
I am unbothered. I am bothering no one. I do not need to talk. I do not need to entertain. I do not need to perform being a person at anyone for any reason. I can think. I can come up with ideas. I can create stuff. I can watch the things. I can read. I can research. I can pursue a strange line of curiosity all the way down a rabbit hole and emerge three hours later having learned something nobody asked me to learn. Glorious.
I’m aware not everyone is wired this way. A lot of people have a hard time being alone. They struggle with stillness. They get twitchy in their own company. To which I say — respectfully — sounds rough.
Because I, personally, am having a great time. I’ll go ahead and say it. I really enjoy me. I crack myself up on a regular basis. My thoughts are mostly peaceful and occasionally productive. I am happy with the person I’ve become and the improvements I continue to make. I’m just in here. In the terrarium. Basking.
I wasn’t always this way, in case anyone is reading this and thinking who is this insufferably content woman. Earlier versions of me did not know how to be alone for fifteen minutes, let alone a weekend. Earlier versions of me needed constant entertainment, constant input, constant noise. Earlier versions of me would have read this post and thought that woman needs to call a friend. Earlier versions of me were, frankly, a lot.
But as I’ve gotten older, and life has gotten more demanding in some ways and less demanding in others, it has become really, really nice to not need all of that anymore.
Thank goodness that’s over.
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